I wish my penis had an off switch
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
