Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry RodFarva hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

Fav 33 1094 5800
share tweet
(928): View more from Arizona

We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in

Fav 17 6574 1278
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.

Fav 19 6295 1274
share tweet
(334): View more from Alabama

FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon

Fav 9 2554 803
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

Fav 6 762 464
share tweet
(507): View more from Minnesota

Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill

Fav 4 670 1483
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.

Fav 0 645 549
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?

Fav 0 46 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

Can I use your boat

(305): View more from Florida

Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?

(786): View more from Florida

WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night

Fav 0 113 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT