she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
