so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
