Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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