HIV tests are more positive than that guy
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
