We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
