this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
