Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
