kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize