Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
