once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
