they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
