He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
