Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
