so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
