oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
