You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
