and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
