How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
