Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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