PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Randomize
