I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
