Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
