So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would fuck him just for his dog
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
