I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
