just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
