Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
