how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
