trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
