would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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