Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
