I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
