Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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