I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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