"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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