I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
