she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Are we still banned from the library?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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