I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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