I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
