I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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