Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
