There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
