i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
