I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Every concussion has its silver lining
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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