It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
