You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
