in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
