I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
