they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
