is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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